Psycho the rapist

  • Sigmund Freuds ‘Oedipus complex’. Not so much a theory as a confession.
  • Two psychotherapists meet. “Hi,” says one, “How am I feeling today?
  • They have sex and the other one says, “That was great for you. How was it for me?”
  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother
  • How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

 None. The light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.
Just one, but it takes nine visits.
One tablet a day, if it’s included in DSM5.

  • I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
  • If you think you are walking out of here cured after only three sessions, you are crazy.
  • A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.
  • I asked my therapist never to tell anyone about my Oedipus complex. He said ‘sure, mum’s the word’.
  • When Sigmund’s mirror broke, Jung took pleasure in seeing a shard in Freud.
  • Therapy helps but screaming obscenities is more satisfying – and cheaper.
  • Freud quotes:

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success.
A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror.
A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist.

Tags: ,


%d bloggers like this: