I can never find a political label that fits me or a label that I would like to be fitted to.
(some edits on 24th July to try and improve the scanning)
(With apologies and thanks to Gilbert and Sullivan)
I am the very model of a modern individual,
I am well informed on matters social and political,
I know the his-tory of Man and of theories philosophical,
Of apes and Denisovans and matters anthropological.
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand the flow of heat in a manner thermodynamical.
About politics and sociology, I’m up-to-date with all the news,
On any subject under the sun, I have opinions and decided views.
Of science led by politics, I tend to be suspicious,
My views on global warming verge nigh on being scandalous.
On matters social, economical and all that is political,
I am the very model of a modern individual.
I know our myths and legends from time ages immemorial,
I can tell the tales of Duryodana, of Beowulf and Galadriel.
I can quote from the songs of Omar Khayyam and from the sonnets of the Bard,
Verses from the Bible, the Koran or from the Vedas do not come so very hard.
I am familiar with the post-modernists and privy to all the schisms,
Between environmentalism, and feminism and even conservationism.
I could hum you an air from Bach or Mozart or even a Shankar raga,
And even sing along with you the many hits of Abba.
I am quite familiar with the works of Marx and Paine and Friedman,
I can And debate with you the ins and outs pros and cons of abortion or execution
In short, in matters social and political,
I am the very model of a modern individual.
I don’t know what is meant by “God” and by ridiculous “Religions”,
As if w‘re e are still stuck in the dark depths of the Spanish Inquisition.
I have little time for Islamic jihad or rampant Zionism,
I only have contempt for Christians killing Christians.
I find I’m simultaneously, conservative and socialist,
And when I’m not a fascist, I can even be a communist.
Nationalism and patriotism seem to me quite artificial,
Since Nation States are merely accidents geographical.
As a conglomeration of matters contradictory,
There is no better modern individual than me.
I don’t know what I don’t know, or even all there is to know,
But I will know all that I can know, before it’s time for me to go.
In short, in matters social and political,
I am the very model of a modern individual.
Tags: Modern individual, political label
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