Why Salman Khan should not go to jail

It is inconceivable that Salman Khan be incarcerated in some “common” prison for causing the death of some “common” man. Privilege must be given its due.

  1. Salman Khan is a Bollywood Star – which is by an Act of God.
  2. He is not a “common man” to be subjected to the same laws used to control the riff-raff.
  3. That he is not “common” is amply demonstrated by the readiness of his driver, Ashok Singh, to sacrifice himself by assuming all guilt, if any, that is alleged against the said Salman Khan.
  4. Such a sacrifice is in the best traditions of Indian mythology and Ashok Singh needs to be honoured for his magnanimous offer and freely pardoned for any and all perjury he may have committed in a greater cause.
  5. Salman cannot therefore be treated as a “common man” and be subjected to the indignities and vagaries and delays of the “common” Indian justice system.
  6. (Ashok Singh should also not be penalised for the vagaries of a “common court” and denied any of the compensation that may have been promised to him by Salman Khan).
  7. The relatives of the homeless but “common” man who was killed when he was run over by a drunken Salman Khan – a certain Noor Ullah Khan – will now receive more in compensation than they could ever have received from the earnings of the dead man. (Thanks be to a merciful God!)
  8. The three other labourers injured  have confirmed that the compensation they receive is far more important than any conviction of Salman Khan. (Thanks be to a merciful God!)
  9. By any measure the life of an endangered black buck is worth much more than that of the unfortunate Noor Ullah Khan.
  10. For killing (poaching) the black buck Salman Khan has been convicted and sentenced to one year in prison – which is not being implemented since he is an uncommon man and the higher Indian courts are exhibiting the deference due.
  11. The natural order of the universe where respect must be accorded to those of higher status, and Bollywood Stars are indubitably the highest of the high, requires that Salman Khan be released immediately.

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One Response to “Why Salman Khan should not go to jail”

  1. Bombay High Court restores the natural order of the universe | The k2p blog Says:

    […] am pleased to see that the Bombay High Court has seen fit to follow my exhortations to restore the natural order of the Universe where privilege is given its full due and where the high status of a Bollywood Star is […]

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