The k2p blog

“Gosh”, I said “You’re heavy”!

I thought I had eaten too much. Heartburn I thought. It had started as just a rumble, just discomfiting enough to make me squirm. I stood up, I sat down, I breathed deep, I breathed fast, I breathed slow but the pressure kept growing. From discomfiture it became severe discomfort and then the crushing pressure reached ginormous proportions. “Hello Mr. Elephant”, I said. “Why are you sitting on my chest?” I do like elephants so I did not want to be rude and scream. I did not like to mention that he was crushing the life out of me. He didn’t look like he was trying to hurt me. In fact he looked quite friendly – even avuncular.

“Gosh”, I said again. “You’re really very, very heavy”! “Am I?” he asked and seemed to float above my chest. “I just came to introduce myself,” he said. “I am your elephant after all”. And then, just like that, the pressure eased. He was no longer on my chest but inside my chest and started pushing out. “Steady on,” I said “I could easily burst. A choice between bursting or being crushed was not very nice” I said. “No, no” said my impossible elephant, “I wouldn’t do that – yet” and he eased himself out of my chest and rested – lightly – outside it again. “You do not seem so heavy now” I murmured. “Of course not” he whispered in my ear. “It isn’t quite time yet. The important thing is that we have been introduced. Now you will recognise me when I come calling”. 

“I am not in any particular hurry” he said, “but remember that I am your very own elephant. And I will be back”.

And then the ambulance came.

Tags: heart attack

This entry was posted on December 18, 2022 at 8:06 pm and is filed under Health, Trivia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.