Greenpeace is not just becoming, it already is , a comic soap opera.
This is to be sung to the tune of “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” from The Pirates of Penzance.
Preferably after dinner with a cognac (or two) and a good cigar!
(With thanks and apologies of course to Gilbert and Sullivan)
The Pirates of Greenpeace or I am the very model of a modern Environ-Mentalist
- I am the very model of a modern Environ-Mentalist
- I’ve information vegetable, animal, and min’ralist,
- I know the Sins of Nations, and I quote the fights rightorical
- From Vancouver to Murmansk, in order categorical;
- I’m very well acquainted, too, with crises hypothetical,
- I understand ecology, both the stupid and the fanciful,
- About bio-diversity I’m teeming with a lot o’ fears
- With many, many made-up facts ’bout the dying of the polar bears
- I’m very good at man-made global warming ideology;
- I know the sensitivity of fossil fuel combustology:
- In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and min’ralist,
- I am the very model of a modern Environ-Mentalist
- I know our mythic history, and Nuclear power efficacy;
- I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for Piracy,
- I can quote in haiku all the crimes of Big Petroleum;
- Genetic crops to feed the poor meet with my opprobrium;
- I can tell undoubted radicals from all the evil conservatives;
- For all the problems of the world, I have the simple preservatives!
- Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore,
- And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
- Then I can write an alarmist screed in IPCC complexity,
- And tell you ev’ry detail of Pachauri’s Nobel perplexity.
- In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and min’ralist,
- I am the very model of a modern Environ-Mentalist.
- In fact, when I know what is meant by “Decadal” and “Oscillatus”,
- When I can tell at sight a hockey-stick from a hiatus,
- When with such affairs as PDO’s and ADO’s I’m more adept,
- And when with cosmic rays and clouds I’m a little more abreast,
- When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern statistickery,
- When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery –
- In short, when I’ve a smattering of physics elementary
- You’ll say a better Environ-Mentalist was never so exemplary
- For my scientific knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury,
- Has only been brought down to the start of the last century;
- But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and min’ralist,
- I am the very model of a modern Environ-Mentalist.
The k2p blog 