Archive for the ‘Trivia’ Category

I am but a prisoner of my genes

January 20, 2014

I’d like to fly but but my genes don’t agree

And they determine how tall I will be,

I am but a lowly prisoner of my genes,

My apparent freedom is not quite what it seems.

But thanks to my genes I’m not a chimpanzee.

All abnormal behaviour is illness, says DSM-five,

Just following precisely what our genes do contrive.

Our genomes hold us tightly captive,

As slaves in their battle to survive,

So it matters not how much we strive.

Bottle of wine uncorked

January 14, 2014

Now this is useful.

This “lulu” is a “lemon”

January 13, 2014

I had never heard of Lululemon till today. Yoga and black, transparent stretch pants are just not me.

image from racked.com

image from racked.com

Apparently they specialise in yoga clothes and are (or were) “upscale and very trendy” (which suggests to me that their products are/were unnecessary and extremely pricey). Their black stretch pants ($98) turned out to be transparent when stretched and had to be recalled. Their “outgoing chairman and founder Chip Wilson said in early November that some women’s body shapes “just actually don’t work” for Lululemon’s yoga pants, prompting a backlash from some customers”.

  • “lulu”Informal – one that is remarkable or wonderful
  • “lemon” – Informal. a person or thing that proves to be defective, imperfect, or unsatisfactory; dud: Our car turned out to be a lemon.

With a name like that I suppose today’s news report was inevitable.

Reuters:Upscale yogawear retailer Lululemon Athletica Inc (LULU.O) cut its quarterly forecast as the company struggles with the lingering effects of an embarrassing recall and controversial comments by its founder, sending its shares down 15 percent.

Lululemon has been under pressure since March after it recalled some of its signature black pants that proved too see-through. …. Vancouver-based Lululemon warned last month that weaker sales would hit the crucial fourth quarter ending February 2. …… 

Troubles at the company have been compounded by complaints about product quality and comments by outgoing chairman and founder Chip Wilson.

He said in early November that some women’s body shapes “just actually don’t work” for Lululemon’s yoga pants, prompting a backlash from some customers. … Lululemon shares were trading at $51.60 before the bell, after closing at $59.60 on the Nasdaq on Friday. They have fallen about 11 percent since the recall in March.

Chip Wilson founded the company in 1998. He chose the name Lululemon because “It was thought that a Japanese marketing firm would not try to create a North American sounding brand with the letter “L” because the sound does not exist in Japanese phonetics. By including an “L” in the name it was thought the Japanese consumer would find the name innately North American and authentic.” Rururemon would not be a threat clearly. 

There are a number of weird stories about him and his company. He apparently blames birth control pills and smoking for high divorce rates, approves of child labour, believes that illness is a choice and that “Health attracts health, Sickness attracts sickness.” 

But I suspect that Mr. Wilson having completed his $327 million IPO in 2007 and now having resigned as Chairman is not particularly concerned.

Still with a name like that, it was only a matter of time before the “lulu” would turn out to be a “lemon”.

And so to 2014

January 1, 2014

“Happy New Year” is a greeting which is perhaps the one with least meaning. The best part of 7 billion people will wish others Happiness and Prosperity and all things Nice this 1st of January. If only wishes led to a behaviour consistent with the expressed wishes!

We could choose any day of our rotation around the Sun as being the start of a new rotation. The adoption of January 1st only dates back to the sixteenth century and is pretty wide-spread though the start of a New Year is still celebrated by some at various times in January, March, April, June and the autumn.

Once more around the Sun we’ve come and the start of another rotation,

Twenty fourteen we name it, of the five billions since creation.

Fireworks, champagne and goodwill galore,

And it’s been a hundred years since the First World War,

But nothing’s new under the Sun and what’s happened before will happen again.

And though I’m not sure what it means, I wish you all

A Happy and Prosperous New Year

 

‘Tis the day after Christmas – Limericks (5)

December 26, 2013

‘Tis the day after Christmas and we have had no snow,

Erdogan in Turkey has suffered another blow,

Against China, Shinzo Abe tries to draw a line,

As in full tie and ‘tails he visits the Yakasuni shrine,

And down under at the MCG, England are 173 for four.

‘Tis the day after Christmas and it is time to end the mirth,

The Queen said very little beyond Prince George’s birth,

Obama basks in Hawaii in this time of austerity,

And in his annual Christmas speech, he called for charity

The Kiwis and the Windies, in Auckland, are battling to the death.

‘Tis the day after Christmas but I am not depressed,

One day older every day but much new to be addressed,

Misery and mayhem everywhere and so very antagonistic,

And yet I have no problem in staying optimistic,

Two more out at the MCG, and England are distressed

The night before Christmas – comments by limerick (4)

December 24, 2013

In the year twenty thirteen,

1. Christmas Spirit (the glass half-empty) 

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the year twenty thirteen, 

Fanatics killed fanatics and the Holy Land was unclean. 

Tribes warred with other tribes in deepest Africa,

While mayhem reigned in Syria between the Sunni and the Shia,

But, ’twas the night before Christmas and no gods dared be seen. 

2. On Putin the Merciful

Putin the Merciful is now in full flow,

The Arctic 30, Khodorkovsky and Pussy Riot has he let go.

The Games in Sotchi are just 6 weeks away,

And he badly needs visitors who are willing to pay,

But most important of all, he is praying for snow.

3. On Democracy and science

Popular democracy is now the flavour of the day,

Decisions by consensus have a preemptive right of way, 

What is right or what is true is of little relevance, 

When a majority in favour can always trump the evidence, 

And minorities must assent if they are to join the play.

4. On the Alarmist Creed

Mankind, it should be apparent is hurtling downhill,

Blind consumerism is Evil and Man must pay the bill,

We eat far too much and we breed all too fast,

The earth’s puny fuel reserves cannot possibly last,

If Warming doesn’t get them, Global Cooling will.

5. On Forms of Marriage

In Christian heaven, marriages are made monogamous,

Under Islamic enlightenment they can even be polygamous,

But with the advent of Human Rights, 

Gay abandon governs now our delights,

And monogamy and polygamy are joined by mano-on-mano-mous.

6. Christmas Spirit (the glass half-full)

‘Twas the night before Christmas in the year twenty thirteen, 

More people were being fed than ever there had been. 

Longevity worldwide was steadily increasing,

While population growth was checked and soon to be declining,

‘Twas the night before Christmas and a future could be foreseen. 

Comments by limerick (3)

December 23, 2013

A reader suggested that I was being unfair in not having addressed Berlusconi and Sonia Gandhi.

So here goes.

First separately and then together.

1.

Sylvio Berlusconi of bunga bunga renown,

Sought to emulate Mussolini and his shirts of brown,

But he had never in his dreams expected,

Of debauchery and tax fraud to be convicted,

And the loss of his passport has raised a nasty frown.

2

Sonia Gandhi – no relation to the Mahatma –

Would perpetuate the legacy of the Nehru atma,

But she overlooked Rahul’s lack of intelligence,

Which together with a reputation for arrogance,

Means she now wishes she had bet on Priyanka.

3.

Sonia is Indian by marriage of Italian descent,

While Sylvio is Italian of questionable ascent,

But they are both extremely wealthy,

Resulting from means fairly stealthy,

And those that follow are left to lament.

Comments by limerick (2)

December 23, 2013

A family function led to some “scandalous” limericks being written about other family members (who were not present of course). It soon became obvious that putting together the rhymes – even with very free rhyming – and keeping the overall theme intact was not as easy as it seemed.

Finishing a limerick is eminently satisfying and these are written entirely for myself with no particular audience in mind.

1.

Vladimir Putin the Tsar of all Russia,

Fancied himself the Peacemaker of Syria,

But he had not anticipated,

That European policy was constipated,

And the winner of all Syria is now Al Qaida

2

Marks and Spencer, the epitomy of Britishness,

Decided to cow down to political correctness,

“Sensitive” muslims employed to work,

Need no longer serve customers with alcohol and pork,

Leading to ridicule for the iconic M’en’ess.

3.

George Walker Bush, he of Iraq in-fame,

In 2003 claimed the end of the game,

But as has now become bloody obvious,

He achieved nothing to any purpose,

And then in Afghanistan, Cameron did the same

4.

Barack Obama – he of questionable birth,

Pushed insurance for all, for all he was worth,

But incompetence and foolishness were rife,

As his web site caused confusion and strife

And his poster policy became an object of mirth.

5.

Francois Hollande, a rabid die-hard socialist,

Was chosen by the French to replace Sarkozy the chauvinist,

But he had no money for the war,

He waged in Mali and now in CAR.

And is now begging for a fund from capitalists.

The Winner

November 28, 2013
The winner spermatazoon - Gabriel Sancho

The winner spermatozoon – Gabriel Sancho

Gabriel Sancho –  Flores

Psycho the rapist

November 26, 2013
  • Sigmund Freuds ‘Oedipus complex’. Not so much a theory as a confession.
  • Two psychotherapists meet. “Hi,” says one, “How am I feeling today?
  • They have sex and the other one says, “That was great for you. How was it for me?”
  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you mean your mother
  • How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

 None. The light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.
Just one, but it takes nine visits.
One tablet a day, if it’s included in DSM5.

  • I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.
  • If you think you are walking out of here cured after only three sessions, you are crazy.
  • A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.
  • I asked my therapist never to tell anyone about my Oedipus complex. He said ‘sure, mum’s the word’.
  • When Sigmund’s mirror broke, Jung took pleasure in seeing a shard in Freud.
  • Therapy helps but screaming obscenities is more satisfying – and cheaper.
  • Freud quotes:

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
America is the most grandiose experiment the world has seen, but, I am afraid, it is not going to be a success.
A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror.
A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist.